Gratitude,  Grief,  This Life

Float Away

My life is not without challenges. Like so many of us, there are many more challenges than I would like. But I sit here today and I look out at the sun shining through my windows. I breathe in the spring air through my partially opened door. I watch the clouds move in their willowy way.

I see people living their lives, working and walking. They have families at home or they don’t. They have something to look forward to or they don’t. They have something that they dread or they don’t. They are human, like me.

We are all in this together and I see us all surrounded by lush nature and a blue sky. What isn’t beautiful about that? Even what we would call the bad stuff can be beautiful. Life is sublime, either way.

I feel like I could fly away sometimes. My husband kept me grounded but there were times when we both would feel like this, like we could fly away together. And right now, I feel like I could float up to him and hug him and laugh with him.

You know what? I don’t need to do that to enjoy that feeling. I can feel that feeling of almost being able to touch him without it actually happening. In the beginning of my grief, I felt such loss at that feeling. Now, I am so grateful for it.

No, I don’t have to fly away to feel like I could. And it’s the feeling that matters. If Steven is out there somewhere, somehow, he feels it too. That’s all I need in this moment.

Sometimes breaking out of our human shells and looking at the world through the eyes of our true nature – the soul? I don’t know – it gives us enough perspective to realize that our challenges mean nothing.

Sometimes we just need to float away to remember that we are all just cells and energy, hurtling through space on a rock with gravity and an ozone layer. It’s just that simple and yet there is so much more.

The reason challenges feel so bad to us is because it takes us away from that and makes us and the world feel so small. But it isn’t. It’s vast and endless.

I’m going to continue to float away. Well, continue to feel it at least. Because I can and I like remembering how very little any of this means when you consider how endless our true energy is. What a wonderful world.

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