Three years ago today. Wow.Three years ago today.It's so hard to fathom that over a thousand days have happened. Three times, we've rotated around the sun.It took a while to accept that the world still continues after you die. But do you know what the beautiful thing is? You are still so loved.
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Thank you, Veterans. But also, Thank you Veteran Widow(er)s.
Yesterday was Veteran’s Day in the US, Remembrance Day in Canada and Armistice Day in Europe. It’s a solemn but beautiful time. We all owe so much to the sacrifices that these men and women have made to fight for our freedoms and to fight against tyranny. Thank you, Veterans, from every country. You are one of the biggest reasons we are here in the way that we are. The gratitude I feel when I think of veterans is immense. Politically, I’m very liberal and progressive and I get tired of the stereotype that liberals don’t love the vets. That couldn’t be further from the truth. My heart swells with…
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Happy Birthday, Steven.
Happy birthday, you gregarious, wonderful, beautiful, frustrating, hilarious, fantastic, fascinating, unique and incredibly absent man. Your birth touched many, many lives. Your life was so full, you lived several lifetimes in your short life, more than most people live. Today, I want to celebrate that life but all I can do is think about your death. All I can think is that you’re gone and that full, lively, wonderful, topsy-turvy life of yours is history. There is no more life for you. It’s still hard to process. It still feels weird, like it’s not real. Death is so weird, it’s just so weird. Birthdays are a lovely thing, though. They…
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Two Years Ago, Everything Changed
The obituary above is from the book, Obituaries in the Performing Arts, 2016. I found it today while I was googling my late husband. My late husband. My husband who died. He’s dead. I still can’t believe it. I wonder if it will ever feel real. Losing somebody as close as a spouse or a child or a sibling—anybody who changes your day-to-day—feels like there was a nuclear attack, annihilating everything and nobody seemed to notice. They see that you notice it, but they walk around like everything is still the same. It’s weird. I remember wondering how it was that the world could still go on after Steven died.…
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A Tribute to the Friends and Family of Grievers
Disclaimer: This is based on my experience. Every griever is different and will appreciate different things but I tried to be as general as possible while still getting in everything I appreciated during the worst of my grief. There are a lot of articles and blog posts out there about what to do and what not to do as a friend or family member of a griever. And for good reason! Many people don’t know how to respond and the wrong response can make a griever feel worse because it is so hard for us to see outside of our tremendous pain in the beginning. Having said that, there are…